Sunday, February 26, 2017

Cooking and Love Bugs...

The other day I was chatting with my mom, asking her about what she had put in her spaghetti sauce.  “Well, honey, I think I sautéed some onions and peppers along with some garlic, and then of course the usual, like tomato sauce.  Plus it seems like there were some leftovers in the fridge that wouldn’t really fight with the sauce, so I added those too, although for the life of me I don’t have a clue now what they were.  Oh well, you know me…“she said as she brushed off my inquiry.  Yes, I do know her well, and the sauce was great.  But, I knew I would never be able to recreate that culinary improvisation, nor would she, so I had to let another thing go and just move on.  However, just for the record, it irks me that she can still clearly remember that time in high school thirty five odd years ago when I wore a halter top to school and the administration called her to complain, but I digress….

Anyway, we sort of have a motto at our house…the good news is if you don’t like something you will probably never have it again since none of us pay attention to what we throw into the pot.  On the flip side, if you really like it, unfortunately you will never get to have it again either.  So far it seems to have worked for us as a family, but has caused undue stress when it comes time to cooking for company.  We only have a few brave friends left... 

We chatted a bit more about the non-recipe for her spaghetti sauce, but soon the conversation segued into a discussion of our trip the next day to the Everglades and whose car we would take since neither of us really wanted to come back with our vehicle smeared with love bug bodies all over the hood and windows and on into the radiator.  Casually thinking out loud I said “I wonder if this is love bug season right now?”  My mom immediately and in a very authoritative voice stated that love bugs have three seasons in Florida, one in the spring, one in late summer and again in December.  My first thought as she uttered that last word was not one of support, such as “wow, how cool that you know that!”  It was more like, “where on earth did you come up with that unrelated tidbit of info?”  When she makes sweeping declarations about things I’m pretty sure she knows nothing about I am immediately suspicious of their veracity.
My second reaction was to contradict her as I thought, "how is it that my mom even has a clue about the love bug hatching and breeding seasons when she has never paid attention to that kind of thing in her life?  How can she not remember her spaghetti sauce recipe she is in the process of making as we speak, and yet seem so confident about this entomological information she is spouting off as if she had a degree in bug science?I am so confused.
I never know what to believe anymore since half the time these theories are plucked out of mid-air and totally off course.  Other times they are so spot on in categories I didn’t even know she knew anything about.  She leaves me in a constant state of wonder!

A quick trip to Google and damn if she wasn’t correct about the love bugs!  April/May, late summer, and December.

Who knew?  …besides my mother of course.  There you have it, in writing.  She was right and I was wrong to doubt her.  When will I ever learn!

Monday, January 2, 2017

A Copy and Paste New Year's Greeting...

 Happy New Year to all!

Just for fun I have copied and pasted below all kinds of crazy things that happen on the art show circuit.  As a member of a few online art forums, a lot of information gets shared.  Sometimes it's helpful, and sometimes it's pretty cringe-worthy.

For any of you who think being an artist means living the glamorous life, here are a few excerpts of crazy things that have happened in one fashion or another to all of us who exhibit our art around the country at outdoor festivals.  You may decide to keep your day job after all!

These are answers to the following question from our forum:   "What is the weirdest thing that has happened in your booth while exhibiting at a festival?"...

Someone cut off a finger.
OMG, was it the whole finger, or just a tip?
It was about 1 inch, at St James Festival.  I also had a dude at Jazz Fest run one of my paring knives up his arm.
I still use the pedestal top with the blood stain on it.

I had a woman walk up to my booth pushing a stroller as I got closer to see what was in it, I have to tell you it wasn't a baby.  It was a huge Iguana on a leash. 

I had a lady confide to me that she was walking around the event spreading her parents ashes, because they always enjoyed the event so much. I checked my booth after she left and found no ashes, but saw the bag with the ashes, and the hole cut to allow a small amount at a time out as she walked around. She tipped it up in my booth so no ashes spilled there. 

A woman walked into my booth and immediately walked over and smelled my paintings. I guess she wanted to make sure they were real oil paintings.

I had a lady pick up each of my pendants and hold it first to her forehead, and then put it between her breasts to "check the energy". She eventually decided that one had the right energy & purchased it. 

A girl threw up all over my display curtains, & then walked off. 

Found a pair of panties and a dollar bill in my booth when I opened it up in the morning. 

After a short visit about my work a lady handed me a small bag with a peace sign printed on the outside. Inside was a baggy of pot because she thought I was cool. 

Someone threw up on the outside of my booth at Rittenhouse Square festival. And the police caught a couple having sex in the booth next to me at the Gainesville Downtown fall show. It was during the night and it was a leather artists booth. 

A pretty young girl came in and wanted a ring band for her toe. She asked my husband if he thought it fit ok....she had her leg up On the a Skirt..n no underwear!
Full Frontal!! 

At one show another female artist came over distraught. A family had come into her booth, under her tent, laid out a blanket and were going to eat lunch there!! 

An honest to god flasher at the Philly museum show about 6 years ago. hung a sweatshirt over his forearm and went around booth to booth, flashing women who were sitting down. 

A pediatrician came in my booth. Picked out a few things and right before she handed me her credit card she got a phone call. Turns out she was on call that day. And I and other customers got to hear her ask what color the baby's poop was, how many bowel movements the baby had that day and was the baby throwing up also? 

At Ft Worth I had someone start to change their baby's diaper on my desk. I asked them not to. 

A ceramic neighbor behind me found a note the next morning thanking him for the space which they had sex in the night before! Things were moved around and there was a condom on the ground 

I had a juggler once. Not paid entertainment, just a random dude. Came in juggling sticks n bowling pins, but kept dropping them, knocking my paintings around. I filmed it. It was over a hundred degrees out and I was nursing some heat exhaustion so the best I could muster was, "Could you just not do that in here". And he yells "Hey everyone!! Don't come in this booth!!!" He was offended. 

A couple probably in their 70s came into my booth/ she was wearing a see-thru blouse , and he asked everyone how they liked her new boobs 

I also had a lady in my booth that held her dog up to look at everything and bought what the dog showed interest in. If only I had known, I would have put a little dab of food up on the displays 

A woman who was braless had one boob escape and stayed in my crowded booth forever! 

Boca Raton: 3 ladies enter. One asks if she can sit in my director chair. I said sure. They all left in 20 mins. The woman in my chair had Pee'd in it!....... I threw it away right then! 

I had a MOM whisper to her daughter about one of my bracelets, 'Just slip it in your purse.'   I was soooooo shocked and sure enough, her purse was unzipped. I locked eyes with the daughter and it was obvious that I had heard her mom. She hustled her out of there and disappeared into the crowd. I couldn't find them! 

Hope you enjoyed a few laughs, and a break from reading about cats and Steve.  I know Steve in particular was happy not to be the main subject for a change.  That brief respite is over now, as I have accumulated a lot of new material since I last wrote about him :-)