Sunday, June 19, 2016

Just another day...

I was in the bedroom folding laundry the other day when I heard some grunting and cursing coming from another part of the house.  I stepped out into the family room and remembered that Steve had put on the newest yoga video given to us by my sister.

Apparently it was not one that would be deemed "Gentle Yoga" because all I could hear was Steve yelling at the instructor telling her to shut the $&@k up.  Within a matter of minutes I was exhausted just from listening to him in the other room.  That instructor had not stopped talking or taken a breathe since she started.

This is what I heard..."Now stand up tall and ster...etch toward the sun. Drop down to your knees, NOW, on all fours, downward dog, hold that position, breathe, now drop into cobra and jump up and leg UP into tree position, now wrap your legs and squat into eagle and now back to downward dog and dolphin and chaturanga, cobra, half cobra, warrior one, downward dog, deep breathing, exhale, shavasana, chaturanga, good grief, $&@k off, heavy breathing, torso perpendicular to the floor, lift your chest, fingers perpendicular, up dog, down dog, open the thighs, release the neck, stretching up, inhale, standing arch, sweep with the arms, what the *&#$ god this is like Twister!  I think I'm going to throw-up".  That was an exhausting minute to be witness to, and I had to stop myself from going back into the bedroom and lying down to take a nap.

At some point during that above rant you probably realized that sometimes it was the instructor, and sometimes it was Steve.  You can usually tell when I'm writing about something that Steve is saying by the sudden use of !@#$% instead of real letters.  That is for my own protection.

And to think this was a gift from my sister!  Typical middle child, always trying to kill off the siblings.  I can't wait to tell mom what she's trying to do to us.  Bet she gets grounded again, even if she is fifty something!

Hashtags for this little event?  #throwup #swearing #$&@k #meanyoga #mysisteristryingtokillus

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