Tuesday, March 29, 2016
The Earth Experiment
First the fish - must have been frustrating for these observers to just watch them swim day in, day out, millennium after millennium, thinking all along...."get out of the water and grow some feet you idiots! Do we have to do everything for you?"
And then eventually (just a few million years later) the planet ended up with dinosaurs. Really cool and all that, but the experimenters were watching, thinking that's not really how we thought this would all turn out when we told the fish to start walking. Let's test their skills and throw in a set-back or two; like an ice age, or maybe some kind of meteor strike with toxic fumes. It would great to see something a little more progressive come from this experiment. If they can survive that they can survive any presidential administration.
It won't be pretty, but neither were the dinosaurs.
It's like the earth was dropped into a terrarium eons ago for our observers to watch as this Petri dish grows and dies, grows and evolves some more, and then dies, and then grows all over again. I'm beginning to wonder if the observers are saying to each other, "you know, I'd have to say I am a lot more pleased with the development of that dirt clod we put in the terrarium over on that shelf than the one in this jar we are calling Earth."
And then television was invented and the observers got caught up in "The Real Housewives of Babylon" and "All My Hominids" and completely forgot to pay attention to our evolution. Which is what let the human race take off on its own without any intervention.
Suddenly (another several million years later) we've ended up with some marginally functioning humans on our hands! The observers clapped in sheer joy when they saw (during a commercial break) that we had evolved into a society that could do so many honourable and intelligent things! "Look at her upload that photo to Facebook" one shouted, "and she didn't even read any of the instructions." "I bet she's got a blog" said another. The head observer rested his (or her) hands on his stomach and noted out-loud... "Survival has finally become almost intuitive for them. I am reminded of the time Jane Goodall was watching the chimps and they learned to stick a twig into the termite mound to fetch their dinner!" Another round of applause came from the observers as they determined that life as they knew it would continue on for awhile longer, until the next election when half the population will move to Canada. And then adaptation will start all over again due to climate differences, longer pronunciation of vowels and different speech patterns, stronger beer and ongoing territorial disputes between the French and English descendants.
Well, that's it for me. What have you been thinking about today?